1) Yes, you have to wear underwear. Always.
2) Stop killing your brother!
3) That's not where we pee!
4) Take your hands out of your pants when you talk to me.
5) Don't talk to your brother while he's on the pot.
6) Stop sticking things up your nose.My 6-year-old followed in his father's footsteps when he was just 4 years old by lodging no less than six green beans up his nostrils. We couldn't believe it! Just when we were poised to rush him to the ER, he sneezed them out, much to our relief. But, since then, he's continued to experiment with other objects, like rocks, forks and straws. At one point he managed to lodge the tiniest Lego coin (literally two millimeters in diameter) into his ear canal. After I (breathlessly) eased it out with a pair of tweezers, I lectured him on sticking things into his ears. Still, there could be a whole cache of toys in there I know nothing about. Go figure!
When my oldest child was around 2 years old, he received a Wendy's meal in a bright orange Halloween bucket. After lunch, he commenced to wearing said bucket on his head. Everywhere. All the time. We would go to the store, he'd put on the bucket. We'd go for a walk around the neighborhood in his toy car, on came the bucket. He even slept with the darn thing. He did this for nearly two years. I was, officially, the mother of the bucket head. And, you know what? I didn't really mind. I mean, how many times can you actually get away with wearing a bucket on your head? Not when you're an adult, that's for sure (unless you want to be committed). So, he wore the bucket until his head got too big for it. Not all boys wear buckets, but costumes in different forms seem to come with the territory. So, if you are having boys, my advice is stock up on helmets, swords, cowboy vests and toy guns. You're going to need them.
7) Take the bucket off your head. We're going to church.
Needless to say, much of my scolding has to do with bathroom matters. I'll never quite understand what in the world boys are thinking, but I do know there's never a dull moment. And, you know what? I wouldn't change a thing. Well, maybe I would wish they could aim better, but otherwise ...