Skip to main content

I Don't Want a Girl: 5 Reasons Having Only Boys Is Awesome


When my husband and I were awaiting the ultrasound for our second pregnancy, I was, as most moms, excited. I couldn't wait to tell everyone I was having a girl! I even wore pink that day to commemorate, what I assumed would be, the outcome.

I grew up a girly girl. My mother entered me in my first pageant at age 4, and I continued on through the Miss America system until I aged out at 25. So, my life was pretty much make up, high heels, glittery dresses and spotlights from the time I could walk a straight line. I couldn't wait to doll up my little girl with frilly things and pretty bows. I was so ready for that!

What I wasn't ready for, however, was the bitter disappointment I felt when I was told we were having boy number two. My spirits plunged. I had the ultrasound tech check again. Yep, she said. She was certain. I smiled, of course, thankful that our baby was healthy and that we were blessed by another little person to raise. But I couldn't shake the disappointment. And I hated myself for it.

It took weeks of discussions with my husband and older women who also had multiple boys for me to let go of my visions of girl talks and shopping trips.

When Beau was placed in my arms, I couldn't believe how much I loved him. Just like with our first son, J.T., all it took was one glance and I was hooked on this kid. Suddenly, the thought of having two boys to tumble around with appealed to me. I could see them playing together, fighting with each other, supporting one another - loving each other in ways that I couldn't. It was the greatest gift I gave my oldest son, having a lifelong buddy that would "get" him more than anyone else in the world. Forever.

As my boys are growing up (they are 10 and 6, respectively), I revel in their sweaty, messy, loud rough-and-tumble ways. But I am constantly batting down others' suggestions that we "could" have a girl if we "tried again." This is said by strangers, family members and friends, as if to say, "all is not lost; there's still hope." In a way, it feels as if I need to apologize to these people for being okay - thrilled, even - at having only boys.

Here's a shocker: I don't want a girl. Because I remember the nightmare I was when I was a 13-year-old girl. And I don't want to revisit those years. Don't get me wrong, I respect my friends who have girls. I adore little girls. They are pretty in their Easter dresses and curls. They play quietly and use sweet sing-songy voices. They like frilly things, like I do. But I know a girl wouldn't be the right fit for me, just as God knew that.

For those of you who like numbered items. Here are just five reasons why having boys is awesome:

1. They come with few accessories - I can hop in the car with just a couple of juice boxes and a sketchy idea for the day and we're off. No groping for hair bows behind the dresser or matching socks. They are good to go at a moment's notice (well, if they can find their other shoe, that is).

2. Buzz cuts - Yes! Come summer time, my children are shorn like sheep. We buzz their heads to the nub. No threat of lice, it washes off with the water hose, and cuts down on the sweat smell a little. Girls don't have this option, especially in the South, where a woman's hair is her crown of glory.

3. Everything matches - Boys don't care if they mix plaids with stripes. Our wardrobe consists of cheap t-shirts, khaki shorts, jeans and a few dress pants and shirts with a few polos thrown in for good measure. That's it. I can outfit both my kids for under $200 for the year. Seriously. What mom of girls can say that?

4. Hand-me-downs! - If I had one of each, we'd be spending a fortune on clothes and decor. Having two of the same gender means what I buy for the oldest does double duty for the next. Cost savings plus! When my oldest inherited a bunkbed from his cousin, his decor automatically transferred to his younger brother. We didn't have to unload a bunch of Disney princess stuff. Win, win!

5. Boys always love their Mommas - My brother is 43 years old, and still hugs my mother like he's 12. My two boys are the best cuddlers in the world, and I know they will always have my back. I'm the only queen in my castle, which means my knights will defend me and fight on my side as long as I live. That's a very comforting thought as old age looms ahead. 

I don't need hair bows and lace to revel in motherhood ; I've got superhero capes and plastic swords instead. I won't have quiet tea parties, bead-making tutorials or mani-pedi sessions. I'll take light-saber battles, camping trips under the stars and digging for worms instead any day. 

No, I don't need a girl, thank you very much. We are happy with the two boys we have, and make no apologies for not longing for the girl everyone thinks we need - or should want. So, if you run into me at the super market or on the town square, you will know where I stand. Save your sympathetic looks. Because, frankly, I've got it pretty good.  

Comments

  1. Love it! I feel the same way about my 3 little guys! And, when people have asked me if we will try for a girl, I tell them that IF we decide to have another, I actually hope it will be another boy!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Luvmyboys, that's a great response! I'm so glad you liked the post. Keep lovin' on those boys!

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Open Palms: Learning to Hold On Loosely

I can't even tell you how long it's been since I've written in my blog. Months? Years? Probably years. But daily I have messages fly in and through my mind that I think, "I've got to share this with people!" but I never do because I'm usually driving a kid or chasing a kid or yelling at a kid or nagging a kid to pick up something off the floor. You get the picture. 
Yet, I'm compelled to get off my rump and finally put this down because, Lord help me, I've been through a lot lately. Not kidding. Full disclosure, we haven't been through as much as some, and I'm not claiming to understand other people's real pain or suffering ... like cancer or the loss of a child. So, please understand I'm living in reality here when I tell you these recent life challenges are probably child's play compared to some people's daily mountains.

But for those struggling with climbing over the steep hill called trust in times of change, this one&#…

To the toddler mom who commented on my teenager ...

It's been a while since I've posted. I can only say that this has been quite a year of life lessons ... many of which I will share very soon. For now, I feel compelled to write about an encounter I had just last night.

She was standing there after what I can only assume had already been a harrowing day, a baby strapped to her chest, another crawling on the nearby carpet and a toddler, tired from his gymnastics class, weeping from exhaustion. It was summer, after all, a time of going and doing, hot summer days and not-early-enough nights.

That's when she noticed me, standing with my almost-13-year-old son, who had recently shot past me in height. His self possession and maturity must have struck her, as I could see a quick glint of jealousy streak across her face. I recognized that look. I'd had it not so long ago when I was the mom of little tots, which elevated my joy to the heavens while sapping my strength. I remember coveting the phase of life other moms were in: chi…

Confessions of a Horrible Summertime Mother

Most people wouldn't classify me as a terrible summertime mom. I mean, I've already shared with my readers the color-coded calendar I hold in such high esteem. I'm very good at finding activities for my children to participate in during the hot summer months. It's the downtime I have trouble with. 

That, my friends, is what makes me a terrible summertime mom. 

I work. Which means that my time with my kids is relegated to anytime during the week after 1 and before 8 or 9 p.m. (preferably 8). That's usually when my kids want to go to wet places like the pool or the splash pad or the lake. 

Now, I do love summer. Really. I grew up frolicking lakeside with my cousins, skiing, wake boarding and living in my swimsuit. It never bothered me that my diet consisted mainly of Rainbow white bread and bologna. In fact, at 10 years old, I liked it that way. I don't remember a lot of adults hovering around. Heck, I don't think I ever wore floaties or a life jacket. My family…