I'm not a
"cool" mom. I don't know whose tops on the Pop charts. I don't have
cable (by choice), so I don't really get the whole zombie phenomenon sweeping
the nation. I'm not a fashion plate, and not really interested in my kids being
one either. I see no reason for my pre-teen to have a cell phone, so he's
not facetiming, texting or tweeting anyone or anything.
Nope. Not a cool mom.
And I'm totally fine with that. Here's why:
First, I'm more and more
aware of the evils (and I use that word intentionally) of too much too soon. Our kids are being bombarded like never
before with half-naked models peddling everything from perfume to pajamas.
People are churning out smartphone apps that make it easy to commit crimes and
get away with it (yes, I mean you, Snapchat). And, apparently, TV shows have
gone the way of soft porn in many cases.
I simply don't want my
young sons growing up thinking that this is the moral standard, low though it
may be, that they should set for themselves. So, instead of cable, we have
streaming TV. Yes, we watch shows like Andy Griffith and Little House on the
Prairie instead of The Walking Dead and Normal Show. And know what? My kids
like it that way.
They, too, are tired of
the assault on their senses they get every time they turn a corner. The
simpler, gentler shows are much more their speed. It's a relief to them not to
have to be "on alert" for a curse word or a nip slip. Because, guess
what? They're kids. And childhood is too fleeting for them
to have to be concerned about such things right now.
Next, there's the
ever-present argument over cell phones. My 10-year-old's relentless pursuit of a smartphone is
exhausting for me to fend off, but, for his own good, I stand firm. I once
asked him what in the world he could possibly need a phone for, anyway, since
we are together all the time. He had no ready answer. The simple truth is, he
wants one because he sees most of his friends having one. And that's not a good
enough reason.
If I were to give in to
this request, we'd have a few problems on our hands that none of us is ready to
tackle:
- Predators - I have spent my entire parenting career
telling my children not to let anyone touch them without permission. By
handing my son a cell phone, I'm basically giving any pervert within the
Internet's reach access to my babies. They are too young to understand the
dangers this presents, so, until they are old enough to get it, and until
there is a true necessity for this device, we will be keeping up with each
other the old-fashioned way - one-on-one and face-to-face.
- Finances - Personally, I don't think any adolescent
should be given access to an accessory unless they can help foot the bill.
When my kid can contribute financially to the cell phone bill, we might
talk about it.
- Peer bullying - I've seen this first-hand with one of
my own dear sweet relatives. Cell phones can be used for cyber bullying
quicker than you can say "spit." And for some reason application
designers continue to churn out apps that make it a cakewalk to victimize
people and leave no trace evidence, (which, in my opinion, should be
illegal but that's another topic for a different post).
So, no. My son will not
be receiving a cell phone any time soon. Which I know puts me in the minority
among my parenting peers. And that's okay.
Finally, I'm a huge
advocate for censorship. I
censor everything, from my kids' movie choices to the kinds of video games they
play to what sites they can access on the Internet. We have one community
computer in our house, and it's an old-fashioned, bolted-to-the desk model,
placed where I can easily see what's on the screen. No laptops or TVs are
allowed in their rooms, and while this can sometimes be a challenge, since we
also only have one main TV in the house, it's a necessity.
Know why? Because
pornography is merely a click away. And studies show that pornographers are targeting boys as young as
6. It's the silent
infection that is spreading through our young men's lives, and if we don't
stand in the gap for them, who will? The same goes for movies, TV shows and
video games, which, if you study them, continue to eek the door open
inch-by-inch for immoral and lewd behavior.
I know I sound a little
like the Church Lady from Saturday Night Live here. And, don't get me wrong, I
don't expect my children to listen to sermons and read nothing but their
Bibles, for Heaven's sake. But I do expect them to sharpen their moral swords
before entering into the Lion's den.
One day, my children
will be old enough to see PG-13 movies. They'll most likely have cell phones at
some point in their teenage years. Heck, we might even get cable one day, if we
are so moved. But, for now, while they're spiritual bones are still hardening,
I want them to be guarded, wary, even, of what the world has to offer. Because
one day they will have to decide for themselves what's right and what's wrong,
and that's a decision I don't want them making through blurred lenses.
If that makes me uncool,
then, I'm cool with that.
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