Closing a Chapter

Dear beautiful children,

On this day, the eve of my going back to work, I want to say thank you. Thank you for the three most wonderful years of my life.

I have never laughed so much, cried so hard, stressed so deeply or been so wrapped in joy all at the same time as I have been while I was at home with you. While it is necessary for me to rejoin the "real world," I am thankful that I will still have the afternoons with you.

But there are so many things I am going to miss. I will miss having the luxury of cuddling with you, Beau, on those cold winter mornings. I will miss those leisurely walks to school in the morning, J.T., with the crisp fall air encircling us.

I will miss the holiday breaks when we baked cookies and stayed in our pajamas. I will miss snow days and impromptu trips to the park and the zoo.

How blessed am I, though, that I have those precious memories to last me a lifetime. And, as the years go on, I will look back on them with the greatest of appreciation. You may not remember these days as well as I will, but I pray our time together has instilled in you both the foundation to bolster you in the years ahead.

Beau, as you embark on your preschool days, I am excited to see all you will learn. J.T., this is an era of independence for you. I can't wait to see even more how you mature, blossom and grow. I treasure you both. And if I never get back to where I can stay home with you again, I want you to know these three years have been a gift from God I will cherish always.

You are my heartbeat. I make you this promise: I will do my best to balance these new demands in a way that enriches your life and never detracts from it.

From the moment you were each placed in my arms and I held your tiny hands I vowed to do my very best on your behalf. I look at you both as on loan to me from our Heavenly Father. I can only do my part to guide you in a way that He would approve of.

While this may be the closing of a chapter, I hope God will bookmark it for us, so we can return one day to these special fleeting days of your youth when we can spend most of our time together, learning, growing and sharing.

In the meantime, during all this change, remember Mommy loves you to the deepest core of my being. Higher than the moon, deeper than the sea and wider than the universe. Forever and always.

Love,

Your Mommy

Comments

The War On Boys

Well, I guess it all started about ten years ago, when the doctor told me I was going to be the Mommy to a bouncing baby boy. Excited, I dove in, scouring stores for adorable little boy clothes, hats, accessories. That's when it hit me. As I viewed the pitiful ten-foot-by-ten-foot assortment of boy clothes at Target, I compared it to the miles of girls' clothes just an aisle over. That's when the rage began; that's when I was first introduced to the injustice of it all, the fact that the world is at war with boys. And it's just become worse as the years have progressed. Now, the proud mother of two boys, I can see this same attitude penetrating all parts of my boys' lives, and I'm fed up. From school, to clothes, to online smut, the world is attacking the spiritual, emotional and physical attributes that real men should have. Instead, they hope to turn every boy into pseudo-women, feminine in their makeup so as to be easier to manipulate, or targeting t...

I Don't Want a Girl: 5 Reasons Having Only Boys Is Awesome

When my husband and I were awaiting the ultrasound for our second pregnancy, I was, as most moms, excited. I couldn't wait to tell everyone I was having a girl! I even wore pink that day to commemorate, what I assumed would be, the outcome. I grew up a girly girl. My mother entered me in my first pageant at age 4, and I continued on through the Miss America system until I aged out at 25. So, my life was pretty much make up, high heels, glittery dresses and spotlights from the time I could walk a straight line. I couldn't wait to doll up my little girl with frilly things and pretty bows. I was so ready for that! What I wasn't ready for, however, was the bitter disappointment I felt when I was told we were having boy number two. My spirits plunged. I had the ultrasound tech check again. Yep, she said. She was certain. I smiled, of course, thankful that our baby was healthy and that we were blessed by another little person to raise. But I couldn't shake the disappo...

Open Palms: Learning to Hold On Loosely

I can't even tell you how long it's been since I've written in my blog. Months? Years? Probably years. But daily I have messages fly in and through my mind that I think, "I've got to share this with people!" but I never do because I'm usually driving a kid or chasing a kid or yelling at a kid or nagging a kid to pick up something off the floor. You get the picture. Yet, I'm compelled to get off my rump and finally put this down because, Lord help me, I've been through a lot lately. Not kidding. Full disclosure, we haven't been through as much as some, and I'm not claiming to understand other people's real pain or suffering ... like cancer or the loss of a child. So, please understand I'm living in reality here when I tell you these recent life challenges are probably child's play compared to some people's daily mountains. But for those struggling with climbing over the steep hill called trust in times of change, thi...

Little Lightbulbs

Search This Blog